The ride on this holey boat is making me sick. Maybe it’s the thought of all that water splashing underneath the rotten wood or the smell of my companions in too close quarters. They could bathe at least once in a while – especially Morg. Though, to be fair, I don’t know that he’s ever bathed. Being rained on doesn’t count. Still, while they all could be a little cleaner, I rather like them. Though, I have to make sure the big one doesn’t see me reading his journal again – that hurt. Maybe if I took it when he wasn’t looking, or I got one of the others to peek for me, I can’t stand not knowing. Even if he’s writing about how much he hates getting rained on. It isn’t like I enjoy being rained on. I also hate snow but I don’t complain about it constantly. I also don’t like grease, that stuff never comes out of my fur easily.
Anyway, back to writing in this boring journal about boring stuff that is sometimes not so boring. So, the leaking boat floated us down the river and right before we were supposed to get back to wonderful, musty land, we see a ton of nasties on the docks beating and eating people. Personally, humans don’t taste that great, they eat too much junk instead of healthy raw meat, but there is no accounting for taste.
Morg jumps off the boat and charges the biggest thing, grunting and sweating as he does so, getting more and more dirty; now he REALLY needs a bath. I know they don’t lick themselves clean like I do (which, I don’t understand why other races don’t) but instead use clothing and whatnot. Maybe I should leave a gift of soap and a bucket with a clean rag for them to use? Eventually, I think the smell receptors in my nose will burn out but I’d like to put that off for as long as possible.
I saw how much trouble all my companions were in and like hell was I going to let them have all the fun by themselves. However, the river was out to kill me so instead of jumping into like everyone else, I just ran down one of the oars and leapt onto the docks. I know everyone was terribly impressed but far too busy to say so. I’m sure they will tell me all about it once things quiet down. I might even let one of them rub me behind my ears as a reward. I don’t know that any of them have earned the privilege of being allowed to rub my belly.
The goblin things weren’t fighting fair and Morg was getting swarmed. They were like fleas, biting and stabbing and he couldn’t itch them, so naturally, I ran to rescue him. I strutted right up there and made the loudest screech I could muster, making everyone stop to wonder at my splendor. The one fellow who got me the WONDERFUL grass waived his hands at Morg, making his wounds close. I think. It was sorta busy and I was basking in everyone’s attention, so maybe it wasn’t that guy. Maybe it was the other one? Morg had the smarts to use this time to smash the other big guy right in the nose, spraying blood everywhere. It was great! The big one fell down dead and all the other annoying fleas ran away.
Then, once everything calmed down, it was more blah, blah, blah, I’m so boring, I’m going to talk too much now, and other stuff. They didn’t even let me wear the pretty green scarf or have the cool coin to play with.